Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Princess & the Racist Frog

Racism in 8 Simple Steps Sponsored by a Frog Princess

1) When the Disney Powerhouse FINALLY creates an animated movie with an African-American Princess… be sure to bitch and moan about it being too little too late.

ie Jennifer Daniels of BET denounced, “a movie like The Frog Princess, with its touching tale of a po' Black chile (sic) being rescued from the Big Black Voodoo Daddy by a great White hope in the pre-Civil Rights Movement South not only offensive and ignorant of history, but highly insensitive as well.”

2) Blanket all characters lighter skinned than the Allstate Insurance guy as 'white'. After all, nothing says diversity like eliminating the spectrum of color. (Except for Michael Jackson: he gets to stay 'black' because he is super awesome and white people can't have him!)

3) Erase from your mind any and ALL animated humanoid Disney characters that aren’t pretty pretty white people. There can be no further mention of Princess Jasmine, Mogli (from the Jungle Book), Mulan, the Seven Dwarves, Esmeralda (from the Hunchback of Notre Dame or for that matter Quasimodo, duh…), Pocahontas, or Ariel (pretty pale but still, a mermaid.)

4) Assert that not only this one but ALL fairy tales are racist. How much more racist can you get than turning that poor black princess-to-be into a green frog?! Sleeping Beauty was cursed why? Snow White was persecuted why? Cinderella was abused why? Isn’t it obvious? They were all black. You just didn’t know it because they weren't black ENOUGH. (See Number 2)

5) Chant over and over “The children deserve more!”. Don’t the young girls and gay boys of color in our world today deserve a cartoon crusader? Shouldn’t they all have a cartoon that looks just like them to teach them how to abandon their goals and dreams and wait patiently for a real black man to come rescue them from their plight?

6) Whatever you do, do not mention Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. His crazy message of “...I have a dream [blah blah] not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character...” will only dull the racist sword you wield. The only way to stay racist is to talk about race, race, race, race, race!

In fact do not acknowledge ANY positive commentary from ANYONE involved in the production or Disney in general. Take for example the Princess herself: "We walk around being black every day, and nobody talks about it," noted Anika Noni Rose, who supplies the voice of lead Princess Tiana. "So, I suggest you follow your instinct and let it be nothing to be talked about." No no that just won’t do.

7) Don’t discuss the content of Princess Tiana’s character at all (Remember number 6). She’s a workaholic obsessed with opening her own restaurant to fulfill her and her dead father’s mutual dream. What the hell kind of example is that to set?

8) Never and I mean NEVER recognize (or admit it if you do) that you are up in arms about a cartoon. Without historically inaccurate fairy tale cartoons how could we raise our children properly? If you don't find this 'film' an oppressive outrage, shame on you...